I find it unbelievably difficult to understand the things that take place around me. I'm constantly trying to find new and better ways to grow as ME and stop living the lives of, what seems to be, life sucking, venomous, individuals. I guess I shouldn't expect to be untouchable, but damn, can I live for one moment without being touched by THE touch of death? I'm screaming to be set free. From these shackles of what the devil has portrayed my life to be, and from the deep wounds from the words of the demented that slip so smoothly and carefree from the tongues of nobodies? Will there ever be a time,...moment....well, hell, a millisecond when I can live not in fear of being hurt by that next man, or friend. Mother, sister, brother, father, enemy. At this point in my life, I put nothing past anyone. And that alone brings tears to my eyes.
I remember when I was in middle school; I had entirely too much weighing on my heart to only be fourteen. I remember my Mother's words. "You can either do what I did and let the harshness of the world turn you cold and numb. Or you can remain the sweet, warm young woman that you are. Choose wisely" Cant say that I ever actually put forth any type of effort to keep my spirit from being tainted. Tainted by the bullshit sweet nothings of the world. However, I can say that I have not let the world turn my spirit cold. But just because the world hasn't turned me into a bitter soul doesn't mean I'm not that much more careful. I've lived enough to know enough about people and the damage they can cause, if allowed to creep in uninvited. I'm still that sweet, warm female....I just view people and situations on a different level. Excuse me if I take flight.
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