I've started this post and deleted it more than a few times. Trying to find the proper way to hook you in for what I need you to hear. What I need you to experience. I'll just... tell the damn story.
I woke up today not feeling the joy I tucked myself in with last night. I cried more tears than I'd like to admit to. Fucking frustrated--- I dressed myself for the day--- my tears becoming accessories for my desired look. I fought with my eyeliner. Battled with my mascara. The puffballs my eyes had turned into wanted nothing to do with how pretty I wanted to look/feel....
Don't you hate it when you can find a single pair of sunglasses?
After digging, for what seemed like my life... I found my least favorite pair. Whatever.
I have no plan. I just know I need to get out...
I decide... I'm just gonna ride the train from north to south and read. Clear my head. Then head home for a much needed nap before work.
I Get to the train platform and barely touch my ass on the bench, where I plan to silently wait for my train... and this older gentleman... a brotha....with only 4 teeth at the bottom (yes, I counted) approached me. If you know me, you know I'm the ultimate lover. One of my purposes in life is to love. To remind those around me to love. I say that to say... any other day I would've embraced him IMMEDIATELY. But. Today, my least favorite pair of sunglasses hid my "not today" eye roll.
I still sat and listened to what he was eager to share...
He spoke so much wisdom and life. Over MY life. It was as if we were friends and he knew exactly what I was feeling.
We got on the train together.
We got off at the same stop.
He wished me well.
After walking a bit I decide I'd head back toward home.
Again, I get to the platform and barely touch my ass on the bench where I plan to wait in silence... and the same man (Chris) approaches me. Determined to finish the convo we started previously.
He said a lot. Some of which made no sense to me... but most of it, filling the parts of me I needed to be filled with. As my train approached... he told me that I was a blessing. I asked for a hug. And before he disappeared into the Marta smog... he handed me a handful of crumbled up 1s and demanded that I treat myself to ice cream.
You can't tell me I didn't meet an Angel today xoxo
Thank you, Father.