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Saturday, February 9, 2013

Go easy.

Eventually we arrive at a place in our lives where we let go of the fear of losing people we hold near and dear to our hearts. We let go of the expectations and we stop trying to dig for clues and explanations of why people are in our lives and why they do the things they do. We begin to accept them for who they are and the role they've played for us. We bury people. No matter who they are. Family, friend, enemy. At least we should learn to. Well....I'll speak for myself. Ive arrived at such a place.

Arriving in a place where Jocelyn makes Jocelyn happier than anyone else was ever been capable of doing. It's bliss. Being okay and in love with the idea of being alone is the happiest place I've ever been. Living for ME and finding self gratification in something so "simple" has opened my eyes to beautiful things about myself that I once thought were flaws. I stand alone. With only the hand of GOD'S fingers laced between my own. Ive never identified myself as a religious individual.... but spiritual, I Am.

Ive stopped placing people on pedestals. Ive allowed people to have flaws. I remember some years back, someone who was the closest to me, someone I had compared others to, someone I had believed was an example of how people should be....let me down. My world crashed. My expectations of homosapiens crumbled before me. I didn't have that shiny trophy of a person to guide me. That high position they held became one hell of a place. That was my life lesson, that we're all human, bound to make mistakes. Sounds cliche I know. But that was MY reality.

My reality as of current: Live for me. For my expectations. Dancing like no one is watching. I find fulfillment and pleasure in appeasing myself and holding myself to one hell of a standard.

NP: Renegade- Kings of Convenience