Last time that I decided I would "Start Over" it was because of a relationship... an individual that I had allow to control and waste way too much of my daily thinking. Lets just say....fools definitely do fall in love. I didn't exactly know how I was going to so-called "Start Over" but now that I'm looking back on it, it wasn't in a very healthy way. Guess the booze and other men didn't exactly fill that void. I wasn't exactly trying to better the Gypsy within, I was more like, trying to take my mind off of one life issue and focus on another 0_o Backwards right? Yea, my thoughts exactly.
So, recently, I decided that I would, yet again, have another moment of "Starting Over" but this time I wanted to do it the correct way (if there's a such thing). For quite some time my main focus has been off, how to be happy with MOI was not on the top of my list of priorities, I was more focused on how to keep the people I care for and love the most happy. At the end of the day, when I laid my wet hair down on my pillow, I wasn't happy with me, and I had no one but myself to blame. Too often people have stereotyped me as "conceited", "self indulged", say things like "she thing she's the sh*t", oh and my all time favorite "she's materialistic" blah blah blah blah (gotta love em). But lets just say, you thought I was conceited before, HA! With this new attitude and mind set that I have right now, you really haven't seen anything. And I mean that in the most conceited way possible.
I've made a vow to myself to start doing those little things that I use to do that made me, me. For example, this blog. Now, I've never had a blog before, but is there anyone out there who's ever heard of OpenDiary.com? Lol (I just chuckled). Okay, it may sound a little weird but it's a website where you can sign up to have an online diary. You can either make your posts private or public, pretty much a blog....with that definition I guess I have had a blog before *shrug* (BTW if you've never been to the website, check it out. You could either come across your typical teen drama or some pretty good stuff...you might even come across some of my old break up poetry 0_0) Anyhoo, back to the main focus here, this blog is me getting back to me. I've always enjoyed writing about my feels, thoughts, life.... don't exactly know why I stopped. But damn it....IM STARTING AGAIN! :) Along with the blog I've decided to take a few steps in living a healthier life. Like right now, I'm starving, yea I know, it doesn't sound exactly healthy, but it is, I promise I'm not starving myself. I'm actually doing a Juice cleansing. It's where I only intake freshly juiced vegetables and fruits for 10days. Following that, I eat only raw food for 30 days (for those of you who might wonder what I mean by 'raw foods', I'm talking fruits and veggies...but in a solid form. Believe me, people have asked) I'm only on day one, pray for me.
During this time of cleansing I'll not only get my body back to its somewhat 'natural' state, but I'll be doing some heavy duty meditating (prayer, once again for those who may wonder) to get my mind right, as in my mother's words. I need to find my center,....again.
I encourage everyone to fall in love with themselves, if they haven't already done so. Once I fell back in love with my inner Gypsy, I realized that I'm the happiest I've been in a long time. I just have to continue to do those little things to make sure I stay in love with me. Many don't realize that just as easy as it is to focus so much energy and time on other people it makes it that much easier to not focus on yourself and to fall out of love with you.
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