Enough

One of my all time favorite quotes from Sex and the City:

In love relationships, there is a fine line between pleasure and pain. In fact, it's a common belief that a relationship without pain is a relationship not worth having. To some, pain implies growth. But how do we know when the growing pains stop, and the pain pains take over? Are we masochists or optimists if we continue to walk that fine line? When it comes to relationships, how do we know when enough is enough? ~Carrie

I remember the first time I heard this quote on the show, I immediately opened my laptop and googled it just so I could read it over and over....and over again. I think it even became my Facebook status. During that time, I was in a relationship where this quote fit to a T, but I still havent been able to answer the question: When is enough simply enough?

As a female Ive had my fair share of heart break, or not so fair share depending on how you look at it. Ive also had many, if not all, of my female friends go through similar, if not the same, ol' BS that I had to experience, but the question still stands. When do we as women (sorry fellas) know when to just step away from a relationship and take it as a L? I am completely guilty of dragging on a relationship until there was nothing left but slick tongues with bitter words. Is there an actual point in a relationship when it begins to go sour when you should cut your loses and call it a day? Ive always been taught that you put your best foot forward and try to make the best of evey situation, but there has to be a better way of thinking when it comes to relationships. 

After having a recent conversation with one of my girl friends I had somewhat of an epiphany. I think us women need to start thinking a lot clearer with our minds and stop feeling with our hearts so much. Sounds simple but lets me real, we're women. Now, I hate to sounds like the "bitter bitch" however, there's reality to it all, and relaity is, we have to stop allowing the roller coasters of death take place (and yes, they can and will kill you). There shouldn't ever be a moment in any relationship where you begin to question who you are as a woman, and once those thoughts start to creep along, RUN....and quickly. Trust me when I say, if you dont, you'll look up 6months down the road and the two of you are doing the same ol' stale two-step and you've begun to settle in the mediocrity your love life has turned into. 


Ive got a story for you a guys:


Let's take Amy for example. Amy was with this guy, Paul, for a few years. First year, everything was bliss, the way it usually is. Half way through the second year, Amy and Paul began to have....differences. Paul thought it was okay to have sex with other women, Amy saw it as an issue. Instead of Amy putting her foot down on the situation immediately, she put up with it the best way she knew how. She pretended nothing was going on. *Bad call Amy* Hoping that things would change, she never left but she gave him an ear full every time the occasion presented itself. This once blissful relationship had turned sour and now Amy had turned into the woman she never wanted to be. That tango took place for another LOOOONNNGGG year and then Paul finally decided that he didn't want to be with her. So not only did this bastard take Amy through hell and back, but he had also managed to break Amy down to damn near nothing, and then, the twist, HE LEAVES HER??? 


Amy, being the determined person she was, she continued to find some way some how to fix what they once had. Paul, not exactly sure why Amy would want to stick around, allowed her to do just that. He kept her around, but in the meantime did as he pleased and pretty much dared her to complain.

Why would any man want any woman that allows him to mess around with other women? This question can be raised about several different relationship issues, not just cheating. I can speak from experience when I say, all it does it make them have less respect for you (if they had much to begin with being he decided to step out in the first place). Amy, just like many other women, should have set in stone right then and there of the things she would and would not put up with. 


Take more pride and respect in who you are as a woman, stop settling for less. How many languages does he have to say it to make it clear that he's an egotistical asshole who doesn't feel like changing his ways? It's one thing to have your occasional differences, Fix it. But when the same issue continues to present itself and everything spirals downward who can we really blame but ourselves? We allowed it.